Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Chocolate "Pie": First Annual Pieathon with Retro Food Bloggers

Last month I decided to participate in a crazy blogging event.... drumroll please... the 1st ANNUAL PIEATHON... now that sounds all lovely and delicious... but isn't just any ol' pie recipe event... this is a SPECIAL pie recipe event... it includes really wacky retro recipes anywhere from the early 1900's through this gem of a recipe I received ... a 1970's weight watchers recipe... PLEASE do NOT try it at home. Seriously, just don't. It's awful. It involves gluten-free bread crumbs, unflavored gelatin, artificial sweeteners... EVEN brown food coloring. Did you have ANY CLUE you could BUY brown food coloring? Seriously, I warned you, DO NOT EAT THIS PIE! 

Before we get started make sure to check out the other lovely retro recipe bloggers who had the awesome idea and were gracious enough to include me in this event

Now please be aware that these are NOT gluten-free or allergen-free bloggers, these are awesomely wonderful retro recipe food bloggers who have a crazy sense of humor and are not afraid to make a really delicious or really HORRIBLE pie just for the fun of it! 

I have a certain fondness for retro recipes. Old church or community cookbooks, vintage cookbooks from the 1950's and earlier, my great-grandma's hand-written recipes... I just LOVE the traditions and the love that went into these creations.

About a year ago I started to discover other bloggers who would try these old recipes again and give them a new spin or just try them as is. I thought it would be fun to participate in one of their blogging events... So here's the pie recipe that I was assigned... a Chocolate "Pie." I couldn't wait to see what old gem of a cookbook and recipe I would get assigned... I had no idea it would be something from the archives of WEIGHT WATCHERS! 

You should automatically become a bit leery anytime you see parentheses in the title of a recipe. OR ANY recipe from weight watchers in the 70's. 

Oh yeah... now I knew I had signed on to do something that probably included jello... and may or may not have contained olives or banana peppers or canned fruit... and I was totally cool with that...

However, I had no idea that something like this "pie" even existed. It makes me sad that Weight Watchers would torture someone with the IDEA of eating pie with a recipe like this. Go ahead... read through the recipe:

Sooooooo.... at first I was completely speechless...

Pie? With enriched white bread - make sure it's enriched, we'd hate to lose valuable nutrients in a pie like this (we'll use gluten-free bread just so I can at least taste it).... food coloring (I actually found BROWN food coloring!)... butter flavoring... CHOCOLATE EXTRACT?? (do they even make that???) .... and meringue... sounds delicious right? 

My bread crumbs weren't nearly as fine as the ones in the picture... but there you are. My gluten-free bread crumbs for the pie crust. Mmmmm...

And who doesn't love a pie made with skim milk? We didn't have skim milk, so I used a (10 year old? box) of powdered milk from the pantry. Instant skim milk... Mmmmmm... pie!

OH... and well a pie needs something to hold it together like plain gelatin, and 2 eggs (I think eggs were the ONLY REAL food in the whole recipe)... and then you have to FLAVOR the pie, since well... there isn't any REAL chocolate in this "chocolate pie".... I used liquid chocolate stevia since I couldn't even find chocolate extract... that'll work right? Mmmmmm....

AND... TAAAA DAAAA!  You'll notice that as soon as I poured in the "chocolate" pie filling all the bread crumbs floated up into the pie filling. It was a thing of beauty. An artificially brown, liquid-y, gelatine-y, glass pie plate full of floating gluten-free bread crumbs!  AND you can't forget the meringue topping once the "chocolate gelatin pie" has set... make sure you note that this is NOT pudding... it's a GELATIN CHOCOLATE PIE... meaning... it will MELT if it's been out of the fridge more than 10 minutes... A GELATIN CHOCOLATE PIE....

And that should pretty much explain the rest of the experience....

The first moment of the ONLY bite I took, SORT of tasted like a thin, gelatine-y chocolate dessert of some sort and THEN the artificial sweeteners just hit you like a bomb and the jello-y consistency just totally ruined any worthwhile chocolate flavor. And we won't even talk about the after-taste. Why would you even BOTHER making or eating this pie?

WELL... it's the 70's when the world (at least the weight watchers world) wanted you to eat as few calories as possible with as little flavor as possible, but it was DESSERT with a meringue... and it was PIE! Totally worth your time and effort and hunting down things like chocolate extract at the grocery store.... :-P

But really, don't make this... just don't!

However, I'm particularly fond of Kelli's rendition of my Great-Grandma P's Butterscotch Pie. Her writing is beautiful and I'm thrilled she took such an interest in the life of my amazing Grandma P. Now, THAT'S a pie worth eating! 

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