Thursday, November 14, 2013

Seasons of change

Life has changed so much for me in the past several years. I've spent the past two years writing books nearly non-stop... and honestly I'm tired! For a little while I felt like I was pretty much done with cooking. I was "cooked' out, burned out, baked out. And "written" out as well...

Over the past few years we've been there with my Dad as he's survived a severe heart attack, followed by three months in the hospital and rehab, then this summer he was blessed with a "brand new" heart via a transplant... those times brought so much reflection, there was joy with tension, hope with timidity, love with smiles followed sometimes by tears... and through it all deep, deep appreciation for doctors and nurses, for people who choose to give their organs, for family and friends who have ALWAYS been there for us along the way. And of course for my Dad.

My cat Mitten (who was so much more than just a "cat") passed away this year and that brought deep grief and despair and yet, hope. We lost my amazing grandmother "Nan" along with my cousin Annie. We lost Michael's aunt, we had other family members going through major life changes that were painful and hard. And all we could do was simply watch, pray, be there... and yet feel like we couldn't really help, which feels so "helpless" in itself..

So my thoughts and my heart have been so incredibly far away from food these past few months. Which probably isn't the most effective way to be a successful cookbook author... but it was important to me to learn where my priorities needed to be and how to ride peacefully with each ebb and flow of life.

I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with this blog, with this little space on the vast internet that I've shared my story and my recipes since August 2007.

I haven't been creating a lot of recipes as of late, I've just been trying to get dinner on the table. Yes, it's gluten-free... but trust me, it isn't exciting. Yes, it's mostly paleo... but you wouldn't need a cookbook to make it.

Our meals have consisted of a protein + veggies + sometimes a healthy starch, like sweet potatoes or butternut squash or even white rice or potatoes on occasion. Truly nothing exciting... and honestly it's been a good place. I'm not looking for excitement at dinner these days.

I've found my thoughts veering towards simple, real food. I've been thinking about the way my grandmother made meals for us, the way my great-grandma always wanted to feed us. The way my Dad  has always expressed so much of his love for his family through food. I've been fascinated with food history and about the ways we need to honor the local foods of our region and our family traditions. I've always loved these things, but they've become much more important.

So as life has changed, my plans for this blog have changed. I'm not going anywhere... but I'm still not exactly sure about the content I plan to share in the future. I want to focus more on simple meals, on real foods, on family traditions, on bringing food close to home, etc... but how to do that, I'm not quite sure yet. I want to write more.

At it's core, this blog has been a way for me to write, and write often. And probably much more than cooking, I love to write. I love to explore thoughts and ideas through words and this means I may lose some readers along the way. I hope not, but I'm afraid that may happen.

I also want to share more about other aspects of our lives. Our faith, our journey, possibly poetry or short stories, essays, etc... and I want to hear from you. I want to share your stories. Your food stories, your life stories, your faith stories... I'd love to know what inspires you, what moves you, what makes you sing and dance, and cry, or simply pause in awe..

Oh and cats... maybe we'll share more cat pictures... those seem to be pretty popular around the internet these days :-P
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