Seasons of change

Life has changed so much for me in the past several years. I've spent the past two years writing books nearly non-stop... and honestly I'm tired! For a little while I felt like I was pretty much done with cooking. I was "cooked' out, burned out, baked out. And "written" out as well...

Over the past few years we've been there with my Dad as he's survived a severe heart attack, followed by three months in the hospital and rehab, then this summer he was blessed with a "brand new" heart via a transplant... those times brought so much reflection, there was joy with tension, hope with timidity, love with smiles followed sometimes by tears... and through it all deep, deep appreciation for doctors and nurses, for people who choose to give their organs, for family and friends who have ALWAYS been there for us along the way. And of course for my Dad.

My cat Mitten (who was so much more than just a "cat") passed away this year and that brought deep grief and despair and yet, hope. We lost my amazing grandmother "Nan" along with my cousin Annie. We lost Michael's aunt, we had other family members going through major life changes that were painful and hard. And all we could do was simply watch, pray, be there... and yet feel like we couldn't really help, which feels so "helpless" in itself..

So my thoughts and my heart have been so incredibly far away from food these past few months. Which probably isn't the most effective way to be a successful cookbook author... but it was important to me to learn where my priorities needed to be and how to ride peacefully with each ebb and flow of life.

I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with this blog, with this little space on the vast internet that I've shared my story and my recipes since August 2007.

I haven't been creating a lot of recipes as of late, I've just been trying to get dinner on the table. Yes, it's gluten-free... but trust me, it isn't exciting. Yes, it's mostly paleo... but you wouldn't need a cookbook to make it.

Our meals have consisted of a protein + veggies + sometimes a healthy starch, like sweet potatoes or butternut squash or even white rice or potatoes on occasion. Truly nothing exciting... and honestly it's been a good place. I'm not looking for excitement at dinner these days.

I've found my thoughts veering towards simple, real food. I've been thinking about the way my grandmother made meals for us, the way my great-grandma always wanted to feed us. The way my Dad  has always expressed so much of his love for his family through food. I've been fascinated with food history and about the ways we need to honor the local foods of our region and our family traditions. I've always loved these things, but they've become much more important.

So as life has changed, my plans for this blog have changed. I'm not going anywhere... but I'm still not exactly sure about the content I plan to share in the future. I want to focus more on simple meals, on real foods, on family traditions, on bringing food close to home, etc... but how to do that, I'm not quite sure yet. I want to write more.

At it's core, this blog has been a way for me to write, and write often. And probably much more than cooking, I love to write. I love to explore thoughts and ideas through words and this means I may lose some readers along the way. I hope not, but I'm afraid that may happen.

I also want to share more about other aspects of our lives. Our faith, our journey, possibly poetry or short stories, essays, etc... and I want to hear from you. I want to share your stories. Your food stories, your life stories, your faith stories... I'd love to know what inspires you, what moves you, what makes you sing and dance, and cry, or simply pause in awe..

Oh and cats... maybe we'll share more cat pictures... those seem to be pretty popular around the internet these days :-P

Gluten-Free, Grain-Free Blueberry Coffee Cake

Over the weekend we attended one of our yearly family reunions. Even in this day and age of constantly new technology, our families still get together for several different reunions every year. And as with any family holiday or event... you really go for the food. Yes?

I've been "paleo-ish" for about 7-8 weeks now, so I really wanted to make a few dishes that I could definitely eat and that would hopefully appeal to others as well. While we really need some fresh groceries, I did have a fairly well stocked pantry so I made a "paleo" blueberry coffee cake - the FIRST baked good I've made in the past few months and I also was able to find enough ingredients in the fridge to create an "anti-pasta" platter!

I have to admit I really enjoyed creating both dishes. There's just something lovely about creating foods from scratch and I really enjoyed baking the coffee cake, something I haven't done in ages.

The anti-pasta platter was fun to put together as well. It was incredibly easy and turned out very pretty by the time I was finished. My friend Pamela over at "Aseafish Out of Water" often creates dishes like this, so I was thinking of her when I put together that platter of meats, cheese, and olives.

The coffee cake is adapted from one I found on "Paleo on Main." I changed a few ingredients and added blueberries, simply because I had a bunch in the freezer. I LOVED how this coffee cake turned out. I don't know if it's because I haven't had baked goods in so long, or because I've reduced my sugar intake so much, but it tasted incredibly sweet, even though it was only sweetened with a small amount of honey and the natural sugars from the blueberries. Definitely a win!

Gluten-Free, Grain-Free Blueberry Coffee Cake
adapted by Carrie Forbes from a recipe shared by: Paleo on Main
free of gluten, grains, dairy, white sugar, and soy
printer-friendly recipe

Cake Batter Ingredients:
2 cups blanched almond flour
1/2 cup arrowroot starch
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 cup full-fat coconut milk
2 large eggs
1/4 cup honey or maple syrup
1 tablespoons pure vanilla extract
1 cup frozen or fresh blueberries

Streusel Topping Ingredients:
2-3 tablespoons coconut palm sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 cup crushed pecans or walnuts
3 tablespoons butter or coconut oil, optional for dotting on top

Directions:
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease an 8x8 baking dish with coconut oil or butter and set aside. In a large bowl whisk together almond flour, arrowroot starch, baking soda, sea salt, and ground cinnamon. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and add in the coconut milk, eggs, honey, and vanilla extract. Stir to combine into a thick batter. Fold in the blueberries. Pour into the greased baking dishes. Spread evenly throughout the pan. In a small bowl whisk together the coconut palm sugar, cinnamon, and pecans. Sprinkle over the casserole and dot the top of the casserole with butter or coconut oil if desired. Bake for 35-45 minutes until a toothpick or knife inserted in the middle of the cake comes out clean the crust is golden brown. Allow to cook  REST/COOL for 15-20 minutes before slicing and serving.

I finally GET it!

I've flirted with the idea of going fully "paleo" for several years. I actually tried it for a while back in 2011 and continued off and on for the past 2 years... until about 6-8 months ago when I was ANYTHING but paleo. Bring on the gluten-free oreos!

Now I've mentioned before how much I don't really like labels. I'm not saying I want to be "paleo" to have a certain online reputation or to pretend I am the be-all, end-all of all things food knowledge. I'm not. Far from it.

See the thing is, I was feeling terrible. Tired ALL the time. Sugar swings EVERY. SINGLE. afternoon. Cheetos and diet Dr. Pepper were a daily part of my food intake... and I was even nearly falling asleep on the way home from work in the evenings.  And that was not cool. Not cool at all. It was embarrassing and I just felt terrible. Again, ALL the time. And I finally had had enough. I was honestly scared that I might get into an accident on the way home just from the constant sugar swings.

It took me years to get to that point. Do you still want to go to McDonald's? No judgement here! I went for years and years, even just for the gluten-free eggs & sausage. But apparently after years & years of abusing my body through food... it had had enough.

My Dad needed heart transplant surgery. My grandmother was a long-time diabetic. I really didn't want to make either of those health issues part of my future and I was just exhausted from feeling bad ALL the time.

So with the help of my husband's cousin Sabrina, I decided to try paleo again. Sabrina talked about the great success she had had over the past few months and her soaring energy levels and I wanted that. I want to feel good. On a daily basis, without tons of caffeine or sugar swings in the afternoon.

I was finally ready to say goodbye to my beloved "Cheetos."  My body felt bad enough that I didn't want them anymore. You don't have to be there yet. It took me a LONG time. And that's kind of the beauty of this whole journey. I know how hard it is to let go of those foods. No judgement here.

Today marks being 1 month completely paleo. It's actually closer to 6 weeks, but a month since I've been tracking my weight and my stats just to see how paleo has helped me. And it has tremendously. My energy levels are incredible. I finally feel GOOD most of the time, most days. I've lost quite a few inches in my waist, arms, and thighs. My clothes fit much better. But I'm still learning things. I'm still learning what foods work best for my body and what foods don't.

Right now, as much as I love baking, I'm not baking much at all. I want to hold off on the "paleo" baked goods until I'm at a healthy weight and mindset. Baked goods are an 'overeating" trigger food for me. And right now, I feel better about my health than I have in years. I feel like I'm finally ready to make healthy eating a life choice, not just a "few months" choice, or a "transitional" choice... but lifelong.

I'm no longer angry that I can't eat whatever foods I want too. I came to the point where I'm more interested in my health than in what I cannot have. It took years, I MEAN YEARS, for me to get to that point in my life. But I'm here. And I'm ready. I'm ready for a healthy and happy future that works for my body.

Saying Goodbye, Weddings, and A New Heart

My grandmother "Nan", a few summers ago

So the last three months have been an emotional roller coaster for me. I finished up two more books. My grandmother Nan passed away in mid-August, my sweet cousin Tiffany was married two weeks later, and a week after that my Dad received a new heart!

It's been quite a ride and as sad as I am about my grandmother passing away, I'm also incredibly happy for my sweet cousin Tiffany and my Dad's new heart, which will hopefully give him the gift of a much longer life. How do you take all that in? How do you process all those emotions and feelings.

Sweet Nan 

We found out my grandmother had a heart-attack in mid-August and thankfully Michael and I were able to drop what we were doing, go down and spend her last week on earth with her. I'm so thankful for that time. I'm thankful that my job was willing to be flexible and give me that special time with her. It was a gift I will never forget! She was such an amazing woman. Words cannot adequately describe the legacy she leaves behind in 2 sons, 5 grandchildren, and 13 great-grandchildren. My dad wrote a beautiful tribute to her for the local paper and her life was truly lived well.

Many of the recipes on this blog have been because of Nan. She taught me how to make skillet dinner, she loved Caesar salad, and she taught my Dad how to make his famous pancakes. She was a gifted listener and she loved her grandchildren more than anything in the whole world. We were all truly blessed to have her as our grandmother.

Tiffany's Beautiful Wedding

My cousin Tiffany is a lot like me. I've often thought of her as a younger sister, even though she's really not that much younger than me. We look a lot alike and we have similar physical builds and even the same color hair. She's always been a favorite cousin of mine (don't tell anybody Tiffany!! :-p) Her wedding was absolutely beautiful and had an autumn woods theme. They love nature and the outdoors and it was a small, intimate wedding in the mountains of NC. It was such a beautiful weekend and I felt so honored to be there and be a part of their special day.

Tiffany, if I could tell you anything about marriage, is that it's a journey. And as fellow hikers, you know the ups and downs of a good day on the trails! There are awesome days and rough days and you work through them all. It's a true gift to wake up to your best friend everyday and I know you and Deron have a great future ahead of you! I can't wait to see where life takes you and to see the wonderful journey you have ahead of you!

Dad's Brand New Shiny Heart

My Dad has been given one of the greatest gifts in the world. The gift of time. The gift of a new heart. There have been such crazy, yet glorious mixed emotions during this time! Sadness for the family who lost a son or daughter, yet absolute thankfulness for their donation of organs. Such a gift. Such a gift.  And so much happiness for my Dad. So thankful that he has an positive, hopeful future in front of him and I'm so happy we can be there along the way.

This surgery and hospital visit was so much easier than his heart attack last year. He was talking just about 15 hours after surgery. It was amazing to witness. Here he was with a brand new heart, with major surgery behind him and he was already talking, sitting up, and eventually walking the floors of the hospital. As a matter of fact, he went home yesterday, less than two weeks after his surgery!

He still has a long medical journey ahead of him... but it will be a very positive one! I hope one day we can somehow connect with the family of the person who donated their heart. I hope I can tell them what an incredible gift they have given us and how thankful we are.

Thank you for the precious gift of time with my Father.

Getting ready for "The Everything Gluten-Free Baking Cookbook"

In just over a month my 3rd book will be released from Adams Media. The book is entitled, "The Everything Gluten-Free Baking Cookbook" and I'm absolutely THRILLED about this collection of recipes. If you pre-ordered the book you should already be receiving a notice saying it will ship earlier than expected!! 

My first love in the food world is baking. I love to bake. I love making cookies and cupcakes and baked chocolate donuts and fresh loaves of bread... warm, sweet fruit pies in the summer and gingerbread for Christmas! With full chapters on pie, cookies, cakes and cupcakes, holiday recipes, and even a whole collection of recipes for bake sales and potlucks!

This book will have 300 gluten-free baked goods recipes. From many of your favorites on this blog (all updated and made easier!) such as the best chocolate chip cookies to peanut butter cupcakes to streusel-topped blueberry muffins... This book is not only a compilation of my best recipes over the years, but also includes a chapter for gluten-free vegans and vegetarians, and those who are both gluten-free AND low glycemic. This means many of the recipes in this book will work without eggs, dairy, or soy.

This collection is truly the cookbook I've always wanted to create. I'm so proud of the recipes in this book along with the fantastic photography taken in my very own kitchen by an amazing photographer, Jennifer Yandle of Jennifer Yandle Design and Photography. All the pictures both in the book and up there on the cover: they were created and baked in my kitchen.

This book has a 6 page photo insert, something many of you have been asking for! I wish we could have included a picture for each recipe, but then the book would probably be $50! :-) I think the recipes we photographed represent all of the recipes in this book very well! I hope you will take the opportunity to go ahead and order this book while it's less than $15.00!! Right now it's selling for $14.04 on Amazon, over 26% the list price of $18.99.

Are you as excited about this book as I am? I hope so!